THE TING TINGS
You suck so bad you don’t even deserve a comment.
We’re posting the iPod commercial because no one should have to sit through the full 3 minutes and whatever of the whole song.
YOUR BAND SUCKS
BILLY BOY ON POISON
The fuck is with shitty bands giving themselves shitty Fall Out Boy-styled names? We already have to deal with Fall Out Boy’s retardedness, we don’t need yours, too. (Yeah, I know it’s a Clockwork Orange reference. It only makes me dislike you more.)
Watching your band hack its way through one of your godawful songs is about as fun as squirting boric acid in my eyes with a Super Soaker Flash Flood. Your website says your lyrics are eloquent and, uh, lyrical. Well, at least your website has a sense of humor.
Wait, scratch that. I just scrolled to the bottom of your website. Did you guys really just call yourselves the enhanced ideal of an entire generation’s minds?
I’m speechless.
CHESTER FRENCH
You preppy, pretentious, but ultimately vapid and horrible Ivy League fucks just want to be Vampire Weekend but you’re just talentless hacks. Not even the Neptunes can save your shitty songs and lack of any musical skill. Your transitions are more awkward than puberty at its worst.
Even your video fucking blows. And you had Paul Hunter direct it. Even an A-list movie director can’t save you.
“She craves affection, so I use protection.” Are you fucking kidding me?
